What Not & Whatever

An Aimless Assemblage of the Weird and Wonderful 
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2012-05-17 Poop On Driftwood - Warning:  This post may not be suitable for all audiences and includes scenes which some viewers may find disgusting.  It is intended for immature audiences whom when told, "Ew!  Smell that!" actually smell it. Read More~
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2012-04-21 The Death of Cool - Cool is no longer cool, or so I've been told.  Apparently, it's no longer the staple of the younger generation's vernacular.  "Cool" is not cool any more.  "Cool" is anti-cool.  It's uncool.   Read More
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2012-03-19 Disgusted, Ashamed and Embarrassed - I'm disgusted, ashamed and embarrassed for my city, for the College, and for all the parents Read More~
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2012-03-12 Introducing Bojangles - Some of you may remember him as the obsessive compulsive dog in Give A Dog A Bone, or the dog with the shameful habit inMy Dirty Little Secret, and I've even talked about his great adventures at sea in Adventures at Sea, but Bojangles has a special, particular talent that I've never mentioned before.  Read More~
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2012-03-09 Here's Hoping my Luck Holds Out  - I live in a very windy village.  I'm not sure why it's always windy here, but I'm guessing it's because I live some fifty kilometres of flat farm land from two Great Lakes.  Whatever the reason, it's always windy,  which is a nuisance if I'm outside gardening and have to always tie my hair back, but a good thing when I'm on my sail boat on Lake Huron.  Anyway. . .  Read More~ 
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2012-02-13 Colour Cravings - It has been a long winter in Canada; not a cold winter - in fact it's been freakishly mild - but dreary. Read More~
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2012-02-02  Go-Go Boots and Wally Gator - Yesterday was my birthday and I've decided that this is the year when I stop telling people my age.  But I'll give you some hints if you want to guess. Read More~
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2012-02-08  The Predator and Me - A Mommy Blog - I know.  It's a strange title.  But then, this whole post is a bit unusual for me.  You see, I'm going to morph (just for today) into a Mommy Blogger, which is a little odd as, well... it's been a very long time since my kids have called me "Mommy"  Read More~
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2011-12-13  Snowmageddon - In my last blog, I described the drive to Michigan as an "easy hour" from my home.  But I realized that some people - namely the 237 motorists who were trapped along it during a snowstorm one year ago today - may be choking on their coffees in shock at my understantment Read more ~
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2011-12-05  My Posh Pooch - I can remember when pet products consisted of only a collar and leash and canned pet food was the latest, greatest thing.  Dogs loved the tinned, stinky paste but few owners actually spent the money on it.  I mean...why pay hard-earned money on dog food when there's plenty of table scraps headed for the garbage bin?  Read more ~
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2011-12-25  Moose Mugs and Leg Lamps - It's that time of year again - the season of aberrant consumerism that turns kindly people into parking-space-pillagers and hot-toy-plunderers.  Yes, 'tis the season of pillaging and plundering.  Read more ~


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2011-11-11  It is the Soldier - On this Remembrance Day, I felt it important to share this tribute to our veterans.  But be warned, the photos of our fallen soldiers at the end of the video had me crying over my keyboard this morning.  It's very moving.  Read more ~
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2011-10-27  Grizelda the Ghastly Gourmet - Yes, my pretties!  The parade of Halloween paraphernalia persists (as well as more artfully authored alliterations)!  Today, I want to share with you a clip from an old Canadian children's show that has become a cult classis - The Hilarious House of Frightenstein. Read more ~
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2011-10-25  Ghosts at Large - When a friend asked, "You got any plans for Halloween?" we were instantly bewitched.  "A Halloween party?! We'd love to come!" Dan and I haven't been to a Halloween party in ages.  And I love Halloween.  I mean...I really love Halloween. Read more ~


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2011-10-14  The Outdated Gadget Quiz Answers (and Leisure Suit Larry) - I'm sure you have all been sitting on pins and needles, anxiously awaiting today's post.  So without further ado, here are the answers to The Outdated Gadget Quiz!   Read more ~
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2011-10-11  The Outdated Gadget Quiz - Last weekend, as our family gathered together for our Thanksfiving Day feast, my brother-in-law introduced the topic of Changing Technologies with this joke -  Read more ~

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2011-07-19  Nasty Names, Hocus Pocus, and Really Bad Puns - When we bought our sailboat, it came with the most inane and inapropriate moniker (which I can NEVER EVER pronounce again for fear of dooming the boat to Naptune's depths) glued to the hull in an electric-blue vinyl stencil.  In an ugle fond.  A LARGE ugly font. Read more ~
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2011-06-28  Adventures at Sea - Masquerading as his mild-mannered alter ego, Bojangles the Lazybones, this tricky tail-wagger is very convincing in his guise of a layabout and will spend hours mastering this deception.  But once he dons his orange superhero uniform and boards his mighty ship, this cagey canine transfroms into non other than...Read more~
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2011-06-01  Show & Tell  - I used to love Show and Tell when I was a kid.  I remember my excitement and eagernes to show off my prized possession, sure my classmates would think it was the neatest thing ever.  (Yes, "neat" was the popular adjective back then."  Well...some things never change, and here I am, all eager and excited to proudly share with you one of my most treasured possession Read more~
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2011-05-19  Woman Desperate for fun Gets Freaked Out by Creepy Beards - I was in the mood for some frivolous fun - something ludicrous, wacky and guaranteed to make us laugh (or at least groan and grin). So, I went in search of that something special  Read more ~ 
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2011-03-23  Rat-Arsed Twatfaced Drunks! - While I was researching for a future post, I stumbled upon this interesting little bit of linguistics.  I was reading along, checking out the different english words used by the British, Canadians, and Americans, and finding it all vaguely interesting... Read more ~
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2011-03-21  Our Toys Were Duds! - Today's post is offered up as a bit of nostalgia for those of us who grew up before the invention of video games and personal computers.   I like to think we had our own awesome games  - REAL actions games.  They have Grand Theft Auto, we had Cops and Robbers.  They have Halo, we had Hide-And-Go-Seek.   Read more ~
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2011-03-12  Take Five - Last month, I posted an article Hep Cats & Beatniks - Part One which was intended to be an introduction for this really great music video "Take Five" by the Dave Brubeck Quartet that has the coolest drum solo EVER.   But....in my typical scattered way - I got sidetracked.  Read more ~
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2011-02-24  The Soul of the Whole - I question every single idea for every post I've ever had for this blog.  Does it fit my theme of 'Scattered Joy'?  Is it appropriate?  Should I include more writing or fewer words?  Will it attract readers to my blog or turn people away?   Is it funny?  Or interesting?  And will anybody even care?!  These are the things I regularly agonize over.  But today, for this post, I know without a doubt I have got it right.  Read more ~
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2011-02-22  Hep Cats & Beatniks - Part 3 - In case you're wondering where my current fascination with Beatniks comes from, I just finished reading the novel "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac.  "On the Road" is a largely autobiographical account of the counterculture lifestyle of the writers, poets and musicians whom became know as the Beat Generation.  Read more ~
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2011-02-21  Hep Cats & Beatniks - Part 2 - Here's my very first introduction to Hep Cats and Beatniks - via the Flintstones.  Watch Fred busts his chops and Barnie beats on the skins to an appreciative younger audience until Wilma & Betty, incognito as Beatniks, arrive to screw with their minds.  Read more ~ 
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2011-02-20  Hep Cats & Beatniks - Part 1 - I think I would have made a good beatnik.  I mean...I'm a writer, I love 50's jazz, lord knows I own enough black turtlenecks, and I'm pretty sure that somewhere inside the mitten and scarf-filled bench inside my front door is a black beret  Read more ~
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2011-02-15  Italian 101 - I love all things Italian - the food, the wine, the art, the fashion, the culture...did I mention the wine?  So a few years back, after a particularly difficult time, my husband thought the best thing for us was to escape to Italy for a short vacation.  Never having been there before, we very bravely booked the whole trip ourselves with the help of a travel agent. Read more ~
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2011-01-08  Colourful Brazil - I've just returned from a cruise up the Amazon where I discovered the cities and people of Brazil to be vibrant, colourful, and musical.  Music was everywhere - blasting out of giant speakers found along the waterfronts, from speakers mounted on telephone poles along downtown streets, and from sound systems in all the street-side bars and restaurants. Read more ~
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2011-01-17  The Joy of Stats - Data Visualization in Real Space - Don't let the title scare you off.  With infectious enthusiasm, and wonderful Swedish accent, and real space visualization, scientist Hans Rosling makes statistics fun. Read more ~
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2010-12-20  Winter Solstice - Tonight is the Winter solstice - the longest night of the year.  The sun set at 4:53 pm and won't rise until 7 minutes before 8 am tomorrow.  Since ancient times, people around the world have marked this day with celebrations and rituals.  In Scotland, the night is known as Hogmanay (New Year Eves) and has been celebrated since the Viking first invaded the British Isles and brought their customs with them.  read more~