2011-05-19

Woman Desperate for Fun Gets Freaked Out by Creepy Beards

I was in the mood for some frivolous fun - something ludicrous, wacky and guaranteed to make us laugh (or at least groan and grin).   So, I went in search of that something special. 

"Frivolous fun.....Frivolous fun"  (Women frowns intently at her computer screen).   Nothing came to me.

So I Googled frivolous fun.  I got a hit about a resort, a cook book, and funny glasses.  I checked out the site about glasses, expecting something like this:



Clarabell likes to stand out in the herd
Or this:

Boy invents x-ray goggles and discovers the truth about female anatomy


But it was just a site about tacky souvenir wine goblets.  Very disappointing.

So I tried again using different search words:  "All Things Ludicrous" and came up with The Financial Philosopher (ack!); "Wacky Fun" - a vending machine factory (yawn!); and then, getting desperate, I tried searching for "More Fun Than a Barrel of Monkeys" which, after a long and convoluted path eventually led to a fun website dedicated to a new fad in facial hair.

So....after possibly the longest introduction you've ever read on any blog post ever, I'm happy to present my offering of wacky and frivolous fun - monkeytail beards!









Yes.  These guys are for real.


Apparently it's the latest fad in facial hair and even has it's own web page -  The Monkeytail.com because dot awesome wasn't an option.  The satirical site (which warns "The Monkeytail is not intented to be a factual statement") encourages the proud owners of monkeytail beards to submit photos of themselves (usually shirtless in their bathrooms) to be posted on the website.  The witty and sarcastic writers at themonkeytail.com then have some hilarious fun lampooning the poor smucks.

Here's a sampling of their work:

Tired of Akward Family Dinners?


Bring the Monkeytail to your next family dinner and your father will stop asking what you're doing with your life and start questioning, "What the hell is on your face?" You can proudly respond, "Well, dad, I'm a pioneer! I am the Daniel Freakin' Boone of awesome beards!" He'll still be disappointed in you, but at least it'll create the illusion that he's proud.  

The site also has a link to The Beard Coach, a website that will provide you with all the information you need to grow and maintain your own monkeytail beard and is worth a visit just to see the photo of Hans Langseth's 17' beard. 

So fellows, if you're thinking a monkeytail beard may be just the thing you need to give you that little extra sparkle with the ladies, here's some advice -


don't do it!





13 comments:

  1. That is horrendous. Frightful. Wrong on so many levels. And oohh, so freakishly funny.

    I must say I may have never heard of this latest fashion trend if it hadn't been for you and your crazy good investigative journalism. But your research does beg the question. . . .Do the wearer's of the said monkey tail, realize what is in fact on the other end of a monkey's tail? Not something you generally want near your face. I'm just sayin.

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  2. "Crazy good investigative journalism"?! Gee....when you put it that way, it makes me kind of proud of my colossal waste of time!

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  3. oh my gosh...oh gosh...what is next??? please don't google that we all just might be frightened...lol

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  4. Jeff, don't worry. I think we've all had enought of a fright for one day ;)

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  5. I think the monkeytail fad started when someone with a hangover got a little carried away with his razor.
    By the way, how can I get my hands on a pair of those sweet X-Ray specs?

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  6. That 17 foot beard was found in an attic in North Dakota. Found in an attic. It was in an attic.

    Someone saved it after shaving it off and put it in the attic.

    Then someone found it and took a picture of it... after finding it in an attic.

    In North Dakota.

    I need time to process....

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  7. I love the pictures of the glasses. (Wherever did you find them?) And I'll buck the crowd; I think those weird moneky tail beards are kinda neat-looking. (Not that I want my hubby to shave off half of his beard ...)

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  8. Al, should have known you'd focus in on those glasses!

    PAMO, crazy isn't it?! Especially when you consider WHEN it was they shaved it off. Maybe at his death, his wife said, "Finally! I can get now rid of that disgusting thing!" And then she felt guilty, so she kept it. Like a souvenir. In her attic.

    Susan, I just googled "wierd glasses" and there were hundreds of photos to choose from. I like to think I have a knack for googleing. If only I could make a career out of it! What would I call myself? A Googleist?

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  9. You are hilarious! What a great post. The introduction was as wonderful as the rest of it. Still laughing.

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  10. LOL...thanks! what a great laugh after a very long day!

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  11. My God, did the first guy dye his in stripes?

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  12. Jeff, don't worry. I think we've all had enought of a fright for one day ;)

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  13. That is horrendous. Frightful. Wrong on so many levels. And oohh, so freakishly funny.

    I must say I may have never heard of this latest fashion trend if it hadn't been for you and your crazy good investigative journalism. But your research does beg the question. . . .Do the wearer's of the said monkey tail, realize what is in fact on the other end of a monkey's tail? Not something you generally want near your face. I'm just sayin.

    ReplyDelete