2012-02-21

Never Accept Cookies from a Whiskered Old Lady

The other day, Bojangles and I were enjoying an outing at the off-lease dog park. The sun was shining, the air was mild, and the snow was melting into nice, mucky mud which (as any dog owner knows) is doggy heaven.

Bo made fast friends with an over-sized Beagle-ish looking dog who stuck by our side as we romped and splashed through the mud along the trail.  

Two (regular-sized) beagles came bounding up to greet us, followed by a lumbering, elderly woman with a whiskered chin.

"Are these your Beagles?" I asked.

"Well...that one there," she pointed at one of the dogs "is a purebred Beagle, but that other one is part Jack Russell." She shook her head in disgust.

"Oh?"  I inquired, "Not a good mix?"

"Oh! He's got the devil in 'im, that's for sure!"

She reached into a pocket of her massive parka and pulled out a dog treat. "Here," she said handing it to me, "a cookie for your fella."

"Thank you!"  I smiled at her then called Bojangles to me. As he returned to my side, then sat in his very best I'm-a-good-doggy pose awaiting the treat which I held temptingly above his nose, I noticed the old woman was staring at him with a look of disdain on her face. Now . . . I'll admit Bo was a fine mess of orange and white fluffiness tinged with wet mud, but still, who couldn't love his sweet Brittany face grinning up at me as he awaited his treat.

"That's your dog?!"  she exclaimed. "I thought this here Beagle was yours. I meant that cookie for him." And with that, she snatched the dog treat out of my fingers and gave it to the over-sized Beagle who had been keeping us company. I could not believe it. She took Bojangles' treat away! Because he wasn't a Beagle! My dog had been discriminated against on account of his breed!


To borrow an expression of my mother's, "I was right flabbergasted," but I shrugged it off and we went merrily on down the trail (minus the over-sized Beagle who recognized a good thing when he saw one and was now sticking close to the old woman with her cookie-filled pockets).

So. . . there is a lesson in all of this and as best as I can make out, the lesson is this: never accept dog cookies from a chin-whiskered, Beagle-loving old woman in a giant parka  (unless your dog happens to be a Beagle, in which case I'm sure it's fine to accept her cookies).

23 comments:

  1. Nasty evil old lady. Bo beats the hell out of a beagle any day.

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  2. I hope you gave Bojangles a treat when you got him home! Don't want him to develop a complex!

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    1. Don't worry - there's no fear of that! The dog is downright spoiled.

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  3. Wow, I didn't see where this story was headed. How sad to be so narrow minded that you would take a treat away from a dog of the "wrong" breed. I just shook my head.

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    1. I know! Some people, right?

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  4. I hope that lady tripped and fell in the mud. Karma!

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    1. Karma is a bitch and she was sure a witch!

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  5. That's so rude it's hysterical! But imagine how much it must suck to be her. Miserable, old witch.

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    1. I know! I actually walked away laughing it was just so absurd!

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  6. she probably steals candy from children too. poor Bojangles. If I knew what doggies love to eat as treats - I'd send him a box!

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    1. Oh, he got over it quick enough. Besides, he's on a diet ;)

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  7. What a meanie! I hope she's afflicted with a case of flatulence so bad her own dogs avoid her.

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    1. I don't know about her dogs, but I know my own rather likes the smell of flatulence - at least he always sticks his nose around to sniff his own whenever he lets one go.

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  8. That's sad... and yes, nasty!You should have asked her why and then given her a piece of your mind...

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    1. Truth is, the whole thing struck me as kind of funny. I mean. .. she was a mean witch and all, but it was still rather ludicrous and I'm a sucker for all things ludicrous.

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  9. Hey!! I have whiskers!!!

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  10. You're right, that was so absurd it was funny! What a nasty old bird.

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  11. Oh sweet Bojangles!!! Please tell no bother. That WE ALL LOVE HIM SO MUCH. We'd never want him to be a beagle.

    That story had me rolling! I didn't know what the climax was going to be, but I certainly did not exspect you to say that crazy old lady took the cookie away!!!!

    Sorry I've been away so long. . .I have sorely missed your writing:)

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  12. Wow, that was odd of that lady! How rude of her!

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  13. I hope she got violated by a good crotch sniffing from a big non-beagle!

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  14. Geez. What a life to live where you can't even have positive regard for dogs.

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  15. Wow! That is one of the weirdest dog park stories that I have ever heard and is very rude!

    Hopefully next time he'll get a cookie for real!

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