2011-07-11

A Bit of Gallows Humour

I've got nothing against rainbows, puppy dogs and home-made cherry pies - I mean, I enjoy a good "warm & fuzzy" just as much as the next person - but when it comes to my funny bone I have a definite lean towards the horrific, the ghoulish, and the outlandish. Assuming that I'm I'm not alone in my perversion towards dark comedy, I'd like to share with you some of my favorite Gallows Humour.  But be warned - it's not for the faint-of-heart.  So are you up for it?





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A doctor, a chemist, and an engineer were sentenced to die on the same day.
The day of the execution arrived, and the doctor was led up to the guillotine. As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine, the executioner asked, "Head up or head down?"
"Head up," said the doctor.
So the executioner raised the axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped barely an inch above the doctor's neck. Well, the law stated that if an execution didn't succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the doctor was set free.
Then the chemist was led up to the guillotine.
"Head up or head down?" said the executioner.
"Head up."
So the executioner raised his axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped an inch above the chemist's neck. So the chemist was set free.
Finally the engineer was led up to the guillotine.
"Head up or head down?"
"Head up."
So the executioner raised his axe, but before he could cut the rope, the engineer yelled out:
"WAIT! I see what the problem is!".

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When I die, I want to go out like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep, 
unlike his passengers who died screaming.

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A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.  The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"


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So did any of these make you giggle?  My favourite's the Gallow Trampoline with its wicked blend of horror and silliness.  

26 comments:

  1. Definitely some sick humor there. That I found rather funny. And laughed out loud at a couple...wait...what does that say about ME?! LOL

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  2. I loved the poster and the one with the engineer the best.

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  3. I LOVE sick humor. It makes me so happy, so long as it's well done. That engineer one was great.

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  4. You bet I did!

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  5. I work for an engineering firm and have to send that one to my boss. This is my kind of humor, too! Thanks for the laughs.

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  6. Well...in my opinion it means you have a great sense of humour!

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  7. Erin WallaceJuly 11, 2011

    Loved the first!

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  8. This was funny! I guess I like gallows humor, too! Thanks for the laugh.

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  9. AlpenwasserJuly 12, 2011

    Oh, you're not alone. I love these!

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  10. The image of gallows made me shiver a bit. I am reading a book about serial killers now and that is what got me all edgy! The jokes made me laugh so much! Are we sadists ;)

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  11. Absolutely bloody brilliant! I laughed my head off. Like you, I enjoy ghoulish humour! he he he he !

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  12. Now why did I know you'd appreciate this? Maybe because of that post of your about the teenager's bloody sketch book?

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  13. Sorry my post made you shiver - but that's half the run right? Like a haunted house at an amusement park?

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  14. Why does that not surprise me?

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  15. It's a good joke that I'm they'll appreciate.

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  16. Hello I came over from Pam´s. I love Gallow´s humor and had some giggles here. Just what I needed before I go to bed. :)

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  17. I like that one too.

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  18. Hahaha! I'd rather die laughing at these than from a surfeit of relentless cutesiness (is that a word??!!). Loved the hunter one best!! Have a great weekend!

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  19. Loved the engineer one -- with engineers in my family, I can totally relate!!

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  20. Jillcook27aJuly 21, 2011

    Hi im a new follower from the blog hop
    Loved the jokes really laughed at the grandfather one
    Please come visit me although i cant promise jokes lol Im over in the UK
    www.jollyjillys.blogspot.com

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  21. Welcome aboard! I'm always happy to share a laugh - the grandfather one
    cracked me up too. Now off to visit your blog!

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  22. theyallcallmemomJuly 22, 2011

    My favorite was the grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep....
    funny!

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  23. I like that one too.

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  24. Mizz Review LadyJuly 22, 2011

    I am now following you from the hop and I would love a follow back over at http://mizzreviewlady-mommyreviews.blogspot.com/
    If you like entering giveaways be sure to enter my 7th sole giveaway for a free pair of shoes!
    Thanks:)

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  25. Angela SellariJuly 23, 2011

    Hi! Oh my! You're killing me! I am a new follower from Follow Friday hop! So glad I found your blog! Please stop by http://aboutamom.com to say hi & return follow! :)

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