2011-05-06

What If

I am still on leave from my blog as I tend to my sister  (read My Sister is Velma Dinkley if you aren't aware of what's going on) although I do have something special for you today.  It's not my usual frivolous fun, but it does qualify under my heading of "Scattering Joy".
Today, my offering is a poem written by a young woman who is completing high school and is refusing to let a learning disability hinder the joy she hopes to find in her future.  Lauren very eloquently and very bravely expresses her transition from high school into the great abyss of life.  Enjoy!

What if
By Lauren Breton

"Hey Lauren you got a boyfriend?"
"What are you doing next year, Lauren?"
Enough! I got the memo.
At the moment, the answer is either no or I don't know.
How am I supposed to see through a foggy window?
Rather than taking one small step for me,
It's talking life, one tough leap towards the rest of my life.
I cannot grasp the essence of change,
Easiest word to interpret, but the toughest to accept.

But the notorious question is,
What if?
What if I get to the mountain and there's no air?
What if I collapse face first when no one's looking?
WHAT..........IF?
These two attacking words invade every square inch of my brain.

My subconscious loves it with a passion when I fail
I know that it'll sting for a while but,
I'll ignore the scraps and bruises of my past
and yell, "Talk to the hand, subconscious! Don't tantalize of what I truly want!!" I'll plug my ears, "LA! LA! LA!" until you finally stitch your ugly mouth shut.

Hold on a minute here,
What if...."what if" has this loop and can be undone?
What if I can untie this complicated knot of life?
The best part hasn't even begun yet
It's about time where I need to shift into the new dimension.

Can I just put on my ruby red slippers,
And follow the yellow brick road?

I can take 2 steps back,
Because giving up is a piece of cake,
Or 3 steps forward,
Into the great abyss.
So you can just shut up, subconscious!
Because you're scum and the best is about to come!

The sun will penetrate through the thick fog,
And hit me like lightning
And I'll run and I'll never look back!
I'll run until my lungs burst with wonderful pain!
This melancholy trek will finally end,
And I'll start anew
Ha, I'll laugh at the face of danger.

It's like stepping into colour,
While my life has only been black and white
The end has no end,
It's only a matter of transition
So I'll dive into the sea of wonders,
And let the current drift me,
So swiftly,
Into the optimistic unknown.
I told Lauren you would all leave a comment/critique, so please don't make a liar out of me.

8 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing this. How wonderful! It reminds me of my daughter who is struggling with depression. The positivity at the end of the poem, gives me a great lift when I see that Lauren can see her way past the huge hurdles in her life to see them as opportunities instead.

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  2. What a bloody uplifting post! You and Lauren are inspirational troopers... Thanks me dears x

    P.S. How are things with your sis going?

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  3. Lauren, BRAVO!!! So well written, a beautiful poem full of hope and vision. You are a wise young woman. Thank you so much for sharing your lovely words!

    Kara- You remain in my prayers. Take care of yourself while you're tending to sister. I hope all is well.

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  4. Lauren, whatever you think of yourself, please believe that you have a rare gift. Your words are lovely, and do a wonderful job of expressing your emotions. That isn't something everyone can do. Please, keep on doing it.

    And Kara, you and your sister are in my prayers.

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  5. Learning disability? Please. Lauren, sweet girl, I think you can teach us all a thing or two about what it means to live, and write, and be eternally yourself.

    Lovely, and bravo! I know you have much in store for us.

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  6. Lauren, BRAVO!!! So well written, a beautiful poem full of hope and vision. You are a wise young woman. Thank you so much for sharing your lovely words!

    Kara- You remain in my prayers. Take care of yourself while you're tending to sister. I hope all is well.

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  7. Lauren, you so eloquently expressed what everyone goes through at critical times in their life. What a talent you have! Thank you so much for sharing.

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