The Case of the Mysterious Beep

Long, long ago, in the basement apartment of a Guy and his Gal, a mysterious beeping disturbed the young couple’s breakfast of left-over pizza and instant coffee.  Beep.  Beep.  Beep.  Beep.

"What's making that noise?" asked Guy

“Is that the upstairs’ smoke detector?” asked Gal, alarmed.

The young couple listened intently to the hurried staccato footsteps of their upstairs’ neighbour.  Back and forth, here and there, they heard their neighbour’s high-heeled shoes taping across the floor above them as the mysterious beeping continued. Beep.  Beep.  Beep.  Beep.

“She must be putting out a fire!” exclaimed Gal.

The staccato footsteps veered towards the front of the house and ended with the slam of the front door.  Then a car door slam shut, an engine fired up, and their upstairs neighbour drove away.   But the mysterious beeping noise continued!  Beep.  Beep.  Beep.  Beep.  The young couple looked at each other in confusion.

“It can’t be a fire,” said Gal.  “She wouldn’t just drive away if her place was on fire, would she?” 

“It must be something outside.  I’m going out to look,” said Guy, grabbing his jacket off the back of the kitchen chair.

“I’m coming with you,” said Gal and the two of them opened their apartment door and ascended the stairs into the backyard.  Outside, the mysterious beeping continued unabated.  Beep.  Beep.  Beep.  Beep.

“Funny…” said Guy, “but it doesn’t sound any louder out here, and I can’t tell which direction it’s coming from.  Let’s walk around the house.”

So the young couple circled the house, twice, but no matter which side of the house they were on, the mysterious beeping continued at the same volume.  Unable to figure out where the noise was coming from, they went back inside.  Guy removed his jacket and draped it over the back of a kitchen chair and Gal took a seat while Guy paced the floor, having learned he could solve mysteries better while pacing.  Beep.  Beep.  Beep.  Beep.

“It’s odd,” said Gal, but when I turn my head this way (and she turned her head to the left to demonstrate), the noise is louder than when I turn my head the other way (and she turned to head to the right to demonstrate).  She repeated the experiment.  “Louder this way, (head turned to the left) and quieter this way (head turned to the right)".

“Well, I give up,” said Guy grabbing his jacket off the back of Gal’s chair.  “I’d better get going or I’ll be late.”  With that he bent and gave Gal a kiss then headed off to work, taking the mysterious beeping noise with him.

As Gal sat in the now quiet apartment, she began to put it all together.   Slowly, the mystery unraveled, and as more and more pieces fell into place, the funnier it became.  She began to giggle as she undressed for her shower; by the time she was standing under the hot stream of water, she was shaking hard with laughter; and when Guy suddenly reappeared, yanked back the shower curtain and with an expression of pure panic on his face exclaimed “It followed me in the car to work!!!” she laughed so hard she peed.

“OH MY GOD GUY!” she exclaimed when she could catch her breath.  “It’s your new pager in your left jacket pocket!”